Trust you are all keeping warm especially in the night when it’s way cold. Thank God for coffee.
Moving on, as I was talking to a doctor friend during my research on lupus, she mentioned that lupus and pregnancy are like water and paraffin. They never go hand in hand, and if they do there are likely some insurmountable odds. When Carol submitted her story to me, I had those long pauses between the paragraphs as I read. I couldn’t help but applaud her resilience, faith and audaciousness.
PREGNANCY AND LUPUS
Motherhood is magical, motherhood is all the fairy tale i wanted to live in. The fact that i took care of a small mini me was something that melted my heart every time i imagined of such a situation. Here i was, eager and ready for motherhood. I could hear none of it from the doctors on the dangers and impossibles. I would do this my way.
I had been on medication and at times the dosage could go higher if I had a flare but this did not deter me from wanting and trying to conceive which saw me having three miscarriages in a span of one and a half years.This discouraged me and again led to stress related complication. Doctors advised that I forget about a child as this was not possible.
For about three years I did not conceive. At this whole three year period, i was on no contraceptive.One day I decided to seek advise from a gynecologist just so i could run my possibilities one more time before i did bow to defeat and impossibilities. The gynecologist advised a hysterosalpingogram test commonly known as HSG.
P.S : A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time becoming pregnant (infertile).
The results were not good at all as they confirmed that both of my tubes were blocked. The gynecologist associated the blockage to the miscarriages which had brought about infections to the fallopian tubes and the uterus. I could not believe it all, here i was praying and wishing for a child but again i could not conceive. My options according to the gynecologist, was to try In - vitro fertilization (IVF).
I was not ready to try out IVF, so i sought a second opinion from another gynecologist. He advised I run some test this time the test opened one of my tubes. I was in total disbelieve. Finally, i had a possibility to enjoy motherhood. To boost my fertility i had to take fertility drugs. Two months later, i confirmed i was pregnant. This was my best day ever. The impossible had happened, all i could think of was that very moment, my crowning moment of a lifetime.
So, my journey of nine began. Before taking any medication, i had to take all my medicines to be reviewed and be advised by my rheumatologist. I was keen, following every step according to the letter. I don't think i could have survived another miscarriage. It would have been so heartbreaking for me.
My journey with pregnancy wasn't so smooth but with the help of both rheumatologist and gynecologist it was safe. I underwent regular prenatal exams, my blood pressure at some point went down, i had high protein levels since my kidneys were not functioning fully but i thank God all this was manageable by the help of the doctors. Just to be on the safe side, i got to be put on bed rest from my sixth month.
I had one been advised to go for an inducement on my 37th week. I went for my check up and soon after even before i left the hospital my placenta broke. Due to the strong drugs i took it was all weak and couldn't hold no more. On going to the delivery room, i had to have an emergency operation since my baby's chord was around her neck. All i did was pray.
On my 37th week, i delivered my baby. Despite being a preterm delivery, i was happy to have my crown officially. Motherhood. My girl is now 4 months and very healthy despite her not breastfeeding due to the medication I am on.
It has not been easy. Not at all. When i look back, i thank God. I believed and He helped me through. I have lost but i have gained a treasure. During the pregnancy period, i decided to quit my job so as to take care of myself and my unborn baby. By so doing, i wanted to avoid any stress level whatsoever.I may not have that special 'breastfeeding' bond with my daughter but i will always be by her side to see her grow. My incision took a bit longer to heal due to low immunity but still i thank God for my bundle of joy.
I did not let Lupus define me or shape my dreams of what i had always wanted. I chose to take that risk, because i am a warrior. I am a mother with lupus, and i am a better at it because lupus has made me go beyond the impossible. To the many people living with Lupus and are tied to the pain and impossibles, i urge you to see beyond what lupus has made you believe. I did it, so can you!!
Living with lupus means you have a plate full, savor it because you are a warrior!! This is you chance, do the impossible because you can.
Carol the #Lupuswarrior.
First image courtesy of Flicker.